Is There Enough Pie to Go Around?

         
     I just finished watching Amanda Hocking on Anderson Cooper's talk show. I felt a rising tide of panic as I listened to the 42 year old stay at home mom who was also on talking about how Amanda inspired her. It's ridiculous, I know. And yet, it will not leave me.
      All the articles I've been reading about the rising tsunami of self-publishing and the surge of ebook purchases since the holidays lead me to the conclusion that the iron is hot and it's time to strike. Sadly, I don't have an iron of my own yet. My iron is at about room temperature and holding. Am I missing out because I don't have a MS to publish? Is there enough of the ebook pie to go around? I can't help but imagine legions of stay at home moms watching Anderson and deciding to become the next Amanda Hocking. My fear is this, once people see the quality of some of these slap-dash, self-published ebooks there will be a backlash against self-published works which will effectively kill the market by the time I'm ready to self-publish my own work (which will, of course, be the best thing since Harry Potter).
     I'm sure I'm being silly but surely people will only buy so many $0.99 ebooks that suck before they stop buying them at all. If I were a betting woman I'd put my money on an end to the self-publishing free for all. I'm not saying the publishing world will revert to traditional publishing again but I can certainly foresee the proliferation of small "publishing houses" specializing in ebooks. If the quality of self-published ebooks doesn't improve, readers will turn to a gatekeeper of some sort to protect them from the shitstorm outside. That's my two cents anyway. I may well be missing the perfect time to self-publish before people outside the writing community get wise to the lack of quality control in self-published books.
     What are your thoughts? Am I crazy?(None of this is a reflection upon Ms. Hocking's work. I have not read her books. I am referring to other self-published books I stumbled upon unwittingly long before I knew anything about self-publishing ebooks.)

Bitter Romantic? Hmm

   
     I'll be the first one to admit that I am a contradiction. I hold equal and nearly opposite viewpoints on almost everything. This may be one of the reasons I felt a career in law was suitable (or it could be because insanity runs in the family or because I have a latent masochistic streak). It is, after all, a strength as an attorney to be able to see both sides of an argument. Too bad I usually found myself wishing I was on the other side of whatever argument I had to make. *shrug* The grass is always greener.
     In any case, now that I'm trying to write, I find myself with a WIP that is a romance novel as well as a pretty much finished book of humorous poems written years ago whose humor stems from the bitterness with which they seethe. Trying to write happily ever after and round out a bitter poem collection with a few more rhyming gems is a bit of a challenge even for me to say the least.
     The bitter poems were written to amuse myself and my coworkers at one of my many horrible jobs overseen by one of my many horrible bosses, a kind of gallows humor if you will. I've been thinking I would use them to test the self-publishing waters. They're just sitting here doing nothing after all and they are so odd I can't foresee traditional publishers beating down my door to publish them. So, why not see what this self-publishing thing is all about by putting them out there myself? I need just a few more to have a robust collection. The good news is, I don't have a horrible job anymore and my only horrible boss is myself. The bad news is I have no well of bitterness readily available to tap into like I did before. I NEED to feel the burn of disappointment and disbelief at the stupidity and awfulness of my lot in life.This is where my contradictory nature is a strength again. I am a cynic so I'm not too worried about finding something that will piss me off enough to wax bitterly poetic again. Until then, I'm open to suggestions of topics.
     At the same time that I'm trying to write these last few bitter poems, I'm also working on a contemporary romance set in the music industry between a female record executive and the front man of a rock band. I'm a hopeless romantic. I want HEA's (happily ever afters) and, honestly, don't deal well with too much angst along the way. I believe in true love and soul mates and all that sqooshy stuff. Wait, didn't I just say I was a cynic? Yes. And now I'm saying that I'm a hopeless romantic? Yes. I am both. I am what I am. It doesn't usually give me too many problems in real life (Or maybe it does, you'll have to talk to my ex-boyfriends about that.) My challenge now is to reconcile these two sides of myself without making my characters crazy. What fun!
     Last night I started two different bitter poems about people who sniff incessantly instead of blowing their noses. I can't decide which I like best. I may post both here when they're done and let the public choose their favorite for inclusion in the collection. Just to be safe I think I'll write an argument scene in the romance novel as a buffer before attempting to write a love scene while visions of sniffers are still sniffing in my head.

Quid Pro Quo Reviews...Where's the Integrity (and the Chianti)?

 
     In the world of self-publishing we all know that reviews sell books. We also know that self-published books don't get reviewed, not by the pros anyway. So, how does a self-published book get reviewed? Usually the author gets other self-published authors to do the reviewing. And, whether it's actually spoken or not, there is an expectation of quid pro quo. But can you review something honestly if a review of your own work is hanging in the balance? I think it's probably very rare unless you're lucky enough to review something that is genuinely good. Sadly, more often than not, you're gonna review something that is just plain bad or, best case scenario, in need of much editing. If you were an agent or editor, you might be able to get away with an honest review as constructive criticism. As a fellow self-published author, however, you are opening yourself up to resentment, questions about your intelligence and/or sanity and a retaliatory hatchet piece about your own work.
     What got me thinking about this was a self-published book I recently read half of. I only read half because I was so frustrated by the poor writing that I couldn't force myself to finish. The metaphors were tortured, the pop culture references were jarring and self-conscious and the dialog swung wildly from something out of a hip hop video to what you might hear in a 1930s film noir. In addition, the characters were schizophrenic and not in a "this is a story about schizophrenic people" way.  I was frustrated and, quite frankly, kinda pissed because not one of the reviews had anything negative to say.  They were undeservedly glowing. I suppose I got hoodwinked because, like a naive idiot, I believed the reviews.  This dichotomy between review and actual product got me thinking about the integrity of quid pro quo reviews by fellow self-publishers. I don't think any of us have the balls to give someone a tough review when we know that they either are, will be, or could be reviewing our stuff as well or even that they are part of the same writing community. The stakes are too high, our egos too fragile and we empathize too much.
     This book could probably be a good story but it needs a lot of editing. However, if no one is ever honest with the author in a review, he/she may never know that it needs fixed. He/She cannot grow as a writer either without honesty from peers and readers. So, you're probably wondering if I wrote an honest review. Absofuckinglutely not! I want to give and receive honest reviews but I also want to have friends and colleagues who don't hate me. Yeah, we talk a good game about having a thick skin when you put your work out there but who doesn't resent a bad review? For my own work, I'm sticking to strangers and, where possible, people who have no interest in blowing sunshine up my ass.
     What do you guys think? Can quid pro quo reviewing result in an honest review? Am I wrong?